SAHM I Am

I just read “How To Live Happily On 75 Percent Less”, and had to give a good laugh. It’s easy to cut back when you’re a single person making double what most working families do! I give this woman credit for frugal-izing, but honestly, if we raked in $8K a month for the 5 of us, we’d be sitting awfully pretty. The woman in the article claims to live off of ”only” $1900.mo since her layoff…the exact amount I bring home (before daycare, gas, et. all) from the job I am leaving in 18 days. We 5 lived on my salary alone after my husband’s construction business tanked, and we are no worse for the wear. But we certainly have a clearer perspective of how easily the rug can be pulled out. Having lived through that year-and-a-half-long rough patch, we emerged with a definite sense of priorities and the deep knowing that comes with faith in the One who sustains us.

It’s funny how we are so quick to spend in the good times, only to fret and worry in the lean times. How much richer would our lives be if we brought to full conciousness that there are always hills and valleys throughout our lives? We ought to give praise for the hills, save for the valleys, and trust the whole way that our Heavenly Father will never take us where He cannot also go.

It is this very notion that prompted me to give up my job to take on the challenge of being a SAHM. Since committing my life to Christ when my son was 4 months old, I have felt a tugging on my heart to be home with my babies. Knowing my son was most likely my last, I didn’t want to miss anymore of their childhoods. I’d been too selfish for too long, hanging it all on a hook of “responsibility to my family”, “long-term career goals” and mainly, Pride.

God created women to be mothers, but equipped us to step in and pull equal weight in the workforce when needed. He gave us bodies strong enough to birth a child, hearts tender enough to break over a child’s tears, and spirits humble enough to yield to the men we love. To not use those gifts to the fullest would be dishonorable to the Giver. To use our femininity as a crutch, as a reason to never lift a finger, would be an insult as well. I’m quitting a job, true, but to say that I am quitting work? Ha! I am merely acquiring more work of a different variety! But it is the call that I have heard…the prompting of the Spirit…to take this new challenge head on and with the reassurance that no matter what, He is there, and I can climb into His loving arms anytime.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
       but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.                               Proverbs 31:30

The first official “let’s save money and do something frugal” outing was today…we scored rodeo tickets for nothing, complete with parking passes.  I was up super excited because somewhere deep down in my heart, there lives a cowgirl just aching to get out. I assumed the rest of the fam would share my excitement…wrong! The DD’s were apparently only in it for the loot, trying to convince me they could not possibly show up at a rodeo without new boots and western shirts. Really? Because I was totally wearing an old (warm) sweater and sneakers. I know how cold, slippery, and downright mucky those paddocks can be, and I wasn’t going anywhere near them wearing more than $30 worth of clothing. The old boots (which really weren’t old, per se) were plenty good to wear, but I’ll admit, I caved on the shirts. My sole justification rests on the fact that Monday is “Western Day” at school, and the oldest DD is in student council so she HAS to participate. So, kill 2 wardrobe birds with one stone, right? A trip to the hick store  Western outfitters was in order. Thank sweet Jesus for clearance racks. I have never in my life seen a child’s shirt for $49, but lo and behold, it was the one…the ONLY one the younger DD wanted. Finally she settled on something with rhinestones and zebra stripes that was marked down to $19. But seriously? It went against every fiber of fashion sense I posses, like some kind of Dolly Parton-goes-on-safari costume. Not to be outdone in the drama department, the older DD had a meltdown because everything in her size was pink. She hates pink. She’s more of a purple or teal gal. And I’ll grant her that one, but lawsy mercy, what a scene! 8 years old is TOO old to have that kind of a hissy fit.

Fast forward to the actual rodeo…due to the matinee timing of this event, it required my 2 year old son to skip naptime. Bad idea. It began with the fireworks…the kid is scared of my hair dryer, did I really think he’d take kindly to a 90-decibel cannon blast? Kicked, cried, screamed his whole way through the bulldogging, the saddle broncs, and the tie-down roping, till I finally strapped him in the stroller. Phew! That quieted him down! Much like the calves in the roping competiton, a miraculous calm comes over young ‘uns when they’re restrained. Crisis averted. Uuuuuntil I was tapped on the arm by the friendly usher-ess and told I couldn’t stand on the ramp with the stroller. A fire hazard or some such. That was our queue to leave, and darn it! Right before the bull riding…my fave! Mmm, hmm…yessir. Something about Wranglers wrapped in leather chaps on a hard-workin’ rear end just ices my cupcake like nothing else.  

Now we are home, warm and de-mucked. DS is happily dozing on the couch, DD’s hitched a ride home with Gramma and Papa and should be arriving shortly-no doubt hopped up on cotton candy and McDonald’s. For the time being, I am going to browse paperbackswap.com and enjoy my tea. Next year, come January, if I so much as get that wistful look in my eye when someone mentions Rodeo, please…please take me out and shoot me.

Well, ok, some compromises. Alright, I concede…likely a lot of compromises. I am 20 days away from SAHMhood and cash anxiety is starting to creep in. What? No more impulse buys of cute sweaters and kitschy picture frames while I’m allegedly grocery shopping?  I jest…I can totally live with out more kitsch in my life. There are a few things I’ve enjoyed splurging on as a working mom, justifying them with the ol’ “it’s my money, I can do what I want”. Now that I am going to be relying on the DH for funds, I can’t be spending willy-nilly anymore. There will be no OT to save up for those Santana heels…but thankfully, there will be no need to wear  Santana heels anymore. Except to church, but I teach K-2 Sunday school. The first thing I learned about teaching is that 6-year-olds and nice clothes/shoes are mutually exclusive. Buuuut, I digress. As I woke up in the wee hours of the morning, tossing and turning, I decided to categorize the things on which I will/will not compromise quality. Price aside, it’s not a good deal if the product doesn’t fit, doesn’t work, tastes awful or has no nutritive value. Here is my list:

1. Cosmetics and soap/lotion. My skin is picky. My skin gets angry with me. My skin tries to crawl off my body if I treat it with anything chemical-y. Therefore, mineral makeup and natural bodycare are musts.

2. Laundry Detergent. A foregone conclusion based on my angry skin as mentioned above.

3. Pet Food. Did I mention my dog farts a lot? Pre- and Probiotic foods cut down on that minor issue. It’s worth the price. Seriously, the little guy can clear a room! And I believe firmy in the Italian saying, “Pay the farmer or pay the doctor”. You get out of your body what you put into it, and pets are no exception.  

4. People Food. Again, a given. Why shell out  money for food that is laden with ingredients possessing no food value, such as MSG, preservatives, and other fillers? I buy natural and organic whenever possible, leaving Jello No-Bake cheesecakes as my rule breaker.

Having said this, it doesn’t mean I won’t try to save however possible on the above items. I have started watching sales at the natural food stores lately, and often times their produce and meat prices are lower than the supermarkets. Not to mention the bulk department-a treasure trove for staples like rice, dried beans, flour, sugar, and cereal grains. A few of my favorite brands of body care place coupons in the free newsletters put out by the natural food chains, and occasionally the entire bodycare/vitamin section will be 25% off. My advice? Make your own list. Maybe you’re OK with Hambuger Helper now and then, but you absolutely must have the latest issue of US Weekly. That’s cool. The key to budgeting is not deprivation, it’s careful planning and compromise. If eating natural foods means we don’t have cable, so be it. There’s really nothing on, anyway.

Hi and thanks for reading my humble little blog. My name is Emily, alias JuneBug Jones. Mom of 3, wife of 1, and “guardian” of a fart-tastic Boston Terrier. I am T-minus 21 days from leaving my employer of the better part of four years, and I couldn’t be more jazzed about it! With God’s grace and provision, my husband has built a nice little business that we can call our own, and it’s finally reached critical mass, where it actually doesn’t make sense for me to work anymore. I am seriously looking forward to every aspect of becoming a SAHM, even the part about tightening the reins on our spending. It feels like a treasure hunt- scoping out coupons, pasting items from the sale ads onto my shopping list, scouring the way-back cobwebby corners of the stores for the last minute clearance deals and day-old breads. To be honest, though, I am a little shell-shocked at the thought of entering the foreign land know as SAHMhood. I never thought I would want to stay home, let alone be able to afford it. I will dearly miss the friendships I’ve forged with coworkers…these are women with whom I’ve spent 40 hours a week for 3 and a half years! They’ve been my support system when things at home were rough, and they’ve been coconspirators in our plans to overthrow the crappy vacation-time rules. But the reasons to go are far more compelling than the reasons to stay. Just today, in fact, I filled 2 notebook pages (College ruled!) with a list of things I will finally have the time to do. Things like exercizing, cooking roasts that take 4 hours, and drinking my coffee from an elegant ceramic vessel rather than a travel mug. Oh, and playing with my kids…natch.

I invite you to follow me through the looking glass, into this alternate universe apart from the hustle and bustle of two-income capitalism. I am sure to have some clumsy moments as I fumble my way around, but I pray that with God’s abounding grace, I will still be alive and intact with (most of) my wits about me by the time my youngest graduates high school.